I’ve been gone most of December. When I got back on the 17th, I hit the ground running with a photoshoot, 2 auditions, getting braces and a filming project I produced; all the week before Christmas… Goodness and then I hustled with power shopping and cooking shortcuts. There’s only one day left in 2018…. And I’m working on something I learned earlier this month, integrating my revised values.
I valued my relationships, my work, my art, my health… all great values. December 6-11, I attended Tony Robbins’, Date with Destiny. My intention was to learn more about my self motivation. I had a rigorous year in learning business concepts and balancing my family with my new schedule and work life. I was tired, at times I felt defeated, thinking “something has to give or break or stop. Was it gonna be me?”
Spending 6 days with Tony Robbins and 4000 + other beautiful souls, made me think deeply, take steps back and find values differently. Although the days were rigorous, in that we had minimum 12 hour work days, I learned how much I can really push myself and draw energy from my soul. During this time, I learned so many valuable lessons and met so many people, who inspired me. One idea, the concept of life long values changed for me. I got a chance to be honest with myself and look at what I practiced, which I learned was my unintentional values that I prioritized… I was given an opportunity through the daily assignments to choose what I wanted to feel and then use it to replace those values I often practiced and felt. There were several integration exercises that followed only Tony could guide us through. That’s was my experience in a nutshell and the short version of it…
As a result, I have so much inner peace, I really don’t know what to do with myself, except to “just be present”. I have to laugh, cause “just be present” has been my biggest note in acting class for years. Lucky me, it’s the holidays, and there’s no better time than now to “be present”.
Throughout the year, my focus was on work, being a business owner and operator, producer, actor and artist. I often worried, made mistakes, over planned, worried, revised out of fear, hustled side jobs, and worried and planned some more… Today, I am able to look back on 2018, and move forward in the best way possible; meaning to prioritize the feelings I choose to live in… and by doing that I can to serve my family, friends and community including me, to be a true leader and friend.
Everything I work towards (and did) has been to make the bay area a better market place for actors, artists and creators. I believed we deserved better than what we were given. I believed we could develop our own marketplace. I believed we were all just as talented as any working actor, artist, creator in the Los Angeles area. I always ask myself, what could I do or who I could bring up to help and make it better? I realize one of my primary motivating factor came from a place of anger, and there lied my self generated problem. That motivating factor needed to change. It sounds harsh and if I still look at the end result, I can justify it to say, it worked…
I’ve chosen to change a few motivating factors as I redefined my values. I still find it important to bridge our communities, bring in mentors and positive influences and expand our networks as it’ll serve us well in the long run, but I’ve been able to integrate the biggest motivating factor LOVE, then I added JOY, FAITH and COURAGE. Each of those words have deep meaning for me, and I’ll explain more in the first quarter of 2019, if you want to join me on the journey. I imagined with FAITH (believing utilizing my imagination) what will be available for us in 2019 and then 2020 and then in 10 years. THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO FEEL ALL THE TIME and not be tired or worn out by my actions. I want to offer my gifts to the world ALL THE TIME.
I understand some of you will choose to go on another journey other than being an actor and that is divine. It’s all a choice. Your skill to chose your emotion is key in every journey taken. Never loose it. Choose what serves your soul, and everyone around you will benefit.
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” ~Tony Robbins
Date with Destiny was rigorous. 6 days of learning and integrating life lessons through the wisdom of the souls who attended, lead by Tony Robbins and his speakers. IT was the longest party week without any drugs, alcohol or any hallucinogenic I have EVER experienced. Yeah there was plenty of rock-n-roll, but the energy was generated by pure human emotion. You never know how much you can be pushed until you REALLY push yourself. In my evolution, these are some of the life lessons I learned:
~Meaningful relationships are everything. Choose to offer something outstanding.
~Trust is delicate but Faith is strong.
~Anger wears many different masks and it offers the illusion of being good.
~Love the biggest motivator of them all. It’s pure and this value will always honor my authenticity.
~When I’m in my core energy, I have the best opportunity to be authentic.
~Life is joyous. Always celebrate. Celebrate who I am, what I do, where I am going and who I am with. This bring me to deep appreciation.
~Developing a Practice. Everything we do comes from a ritual or practice whether it’s conscious or unconscious. One can choose to do either, but it’s a choice. Choosing to create a practice that serves me and others, allows me to be the best version of myself; that’s empowerment (different from control)
~My hardest lessons was admitting I lived in area in my head where I HAVE to make everything certain and predictable… Even though I call myself an artist. I just didn’t want to see, admit or change them even when there were clues and signs all around me. My wise friend Kate always told me “Creativity is in the unknown” Living in that uncertainty allows for the best to come shine through. I honor every creative part of myself and others when I allow for uncertainty. It’ll be a joy to live in the unknown.
~Defining Love for me. I have to admit, I often I talked myself into NOT feeling Love. I would often say to my husband “You never really loved me” then cry. I would stop talking to loved ones on purpose. All in proof to myself, that I could NEVER feel loved. All feelings are generated within… Love isn’t any different. It was one of my biggest highlight at Date with Destiny and Tony proved it. In a moment during one of the several meditations lead by Tony, I was able to connect with everyone around me. I discovered a state of being where my heart and brain connected, and then all of a sudden I was connected with all the living being around me. I could physically feel others breathing at my same rhythm. I could feel the Love all around me. It was a beautiful moment, a moment I’ve been practicing to regenerate everyday. Anyone can do this. ALL feelings are generated within and each one of us has the power to choose.
Lets continue the journey and evolve together in 2019 and beyond. I am grateful for your friendship and I wish you a joyous celebration into a new year. I look forward to achieving goals, changing lives, becoming the best of who can be. Here’s to our future in 2019.
~in deep gratitude, Rosie Ferdin Cruz