I love listening to Gary Vaynerchuk. I listen to his podcast. He speaks plenty on self-awareness and, oh, business too. “Accept your shortcomings, and strive to become more conscious of who you really are.”
Default patterns of behavior and short circuits brain waves, goodness, please… self awareness is no walk in the park. An actor friend use to say to me, “I just want to play the drama, not be in it.” LOL, but now, I’m beginning to understand the drama in life is really an opportunity to learn life’s biggest lessons about ourselves. That’s why writers write about them… The hardest part is being present in the moment, feeling the emotion, breathing through it to allow your brain to function best and connecting to your heart to the experience…oh, and ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Does that sound familiar to some of you?
I was able to recognize my emotional patterns of behavior when Tony Robbins ask us all at DWD, what emotion do you live in? I backtracked to the thoughts that were repetitive in my head and my opinions about life overall… It was basically a series of negative mantras I was telling myself. Then viola, a shining light on my bad habits and patterns. These were the real reasons that kept me from moving forward to my big goals and heart felt values. I was able to bring these stunting mantras to the surface and understand myself better. This is what I believed: “but I don’t know how”, “making money is hard”, “I’ll never achieve my truest desires”, ”acting’s my side hustle”, “producing is also a side hustle”, “very few people succeed”, “there’s not enough room for everyone”, “I need to learn more”, “I never felt true love”, “I’m just one person”, “I’m your-below-average-girl”, “I’m not that smart”, “why isn’t anyone paying attention to me?”, “I don’t really need anything”, “why doesn’t anyone listen to me?”… these always presented conflict within me to live fully. I gave these thoughts energy to live in my everyday life. Oh there’s more, believe me… but this is plenty of SELF AWARENESS to start.
Since then, I’ve worked to change them, but wow, did I have an epiphany moment. Is acting about finding who we really are? Is it truly about self awareness with compassion? Learning not to judge yourself? I always heard notes like “stop judging yourself” just to get the best performance, but is it really the other way around? Did I instinctively migrate to acting and develop a passion for it because I needed to learn compassion for myself? In acting class after acting class, I learned to map out characters’ motivations and actions. They were all derived by the feelings I recognized in the script…Motivation is ALL based on how we FEEL. Emotion is the driving force for every human being to do or NOT to do something… I learned all these specific skills on the human experience just to be a professional performing artist, so why didn’t I use these skills in my everyday life? The only difference in acting classes, is that we use an action for motivation, “to get him to apologize” “to get him to see me” “to get the car keys without him noticing” vs. in our real lives we use emotion as motivation, “to live in joy and spread compassion”, “to be in proximity and share wealth”, “to love deeply and spread faith”.
This lesson or series of lessons is all about learning to be my biggest advocate for my authentic self; this is the journey of self awareness. The by-product of this journey is self compassion and love, being present and distance from self-judgment. I’m a bit hard headed and stubborn when it comes to these kinds of lessons, but heck even stubborn people learn…. Being self aware of the emotions that lead my life, made a HUGE shift in every part of my world. It even changed my relationship with myself. It’ll show in my work too… I can’t wait for the next big thing: class, audition, project, new business, I just can’t wait.
Just for the record, I’m NOT a cetified life coach. I am someone who’s on the path to becoming the FULL me, evolving my purpose in this life, my service to humankind and my deepest desires. I’m here to live my life fully, openly and be an example of what is possible. My service is to share what I have learned.
Did you write your GOALS yet? Here’s my shortlist for 2019:
Take my boys to DWD with Tony Robbins
Attend Business Mastery
Get in the best physical shape I’ve ever been in
Staff The Actor’s Conference
Make a million dollars in business
More auditions than 2018
Book more auditions than 2007-2018 combined
in 3 Feature Films
Create my own production team
Build my dream kitchen
Build my dream bathroom
Finish remodeling our home
Buy a beachside or lakeside home
Visit Tahoe this summer
Vacation in Italy, France, Fuji, Bora Bora
Attend Cannes Film Festival and Sundance Film Festival
Connect people every opportunity I can
Be my own boss
Development Production Company
Make 5 new friends at each event I attend
Make 5 life long friends this year
Take my girls to DWD by 2026
Stop drinking alcohol while I have braces
Drink 64 oz of water a day
Eat clean, organic, healthy and simple everyday.